Afraid

I saw you
Sitting there
Handsome and confident
With a smile that could stop the world from spinning on its axis
And had the power to melt my heart….

And I was afraid to speak to you…

I spoke to you
On an afternoon
Where skies were gray
And the rain fell like tears from heaven
But your wondrous voice only made me see
The gray clouds, the color of your angelic eyes
And the rain, a symbol of the tears of joy I wanted to spill….

And I was afraid to know you….

I learned your crazy ways
The way you could make me forget
Pain and all the ways it ever touched me
All the lonely nights
And tear stained pillows
The way you had of making me laugh
Like no other I’ve ever known
And the warm, tingling feeling
You gave me in the pit of stomach…..

And I was afraid to touch you…..

I touched you
You touched me back
The feeling in my stomach
Sent shivers through the rest of my body
Your kiss, sending shivers to my soul
Your warm embrace
Embracing the inner me I had no idea was still there
Made me feel secure…

And I was afraid to trust you….

I let myself fall
And there you were
Catching me gently
Even though you had no clue
Surpassing every test I threw your way
And deeper I fell
Giving myself to you
With trust I didn’t know I possessed….

But I was afraid to love you…..

 I was afraid to relinquish
All that I was, all that I am
And all that I could be
On a dream that hung by a thread
That at any moment could be snipped away
Yet with every day that has passed
You have only proved to add pieces of thread
Braiding it and interweaving it
Making me believe that somehow
Someway
This was going to be right
Is right
And so I took the plunge
Hoping
No, knowing
You would never let me drown

And now
After all my fears
After all you’ve done to prove them wrong
Still I’m left with fear…

I’m afraid to lose you…